I had one of those weeks this week. Made up of days that were just one of those days. The kind of days that make us want to sit on the kitchen floor and eat cookie dough right out of the mixer.
Know what I mean?
All my rotten frailties were hung up like laundry on a line. All my weaknesses and shortcomings like broken china on the floor–and I was the bull in the china shop, making it worse. Ever have one of those moments?
Do you ever feel like you just don’t have it all together–and maybe–you should? I’m a writer. I always thought being a writer meant that you were really good at certain things, oh, like English and grammar. But I’m not. SO not. My brain works completely in the abstract. I was born of the creative, not the technical. In life, I fling seeds and paint and flour and sugar…and words. I’m an artist-writer, working on all the rest. So when it comes to the right angles and the straight lines of life, and the page, my mind goes blank. Completely blank.Ā If you ask me what a reflexive pronoun or an adverb is, I will probably stare at you like you just asked me how to order a pizza inĀ Latin. And then I’ll Google it.
This is sort of what led up to the eating-dough-out-of-the-bowl incident. Then when I realized that the combination of butter and sugar wasn’t going to fix anything, I asked,Ā “God what am I doing here? Why am I a writer?”
His answer is always the same.
In our weakness, HE is strong. Plain and simple.
That’s right. It’s not about me. It’s about Him.
We see it time and time again in the Bible. God uses the most unlikely people, to do His will. He uses the lowly fisherman to show His power. He uses theĀ prostituteĀ to show grace. The empty vessels to show how abundantly HeĀ is what fills.
God tested me this week with this exact promise. And I panicked. Completely and utterly panicked. I stumbled around like thatĀ bull in the china shop. Because I don’t want people to know about those shortcomings. I’d much rather keep them under my hat.Ā ShortcomingsĀ live so happy and warm and…private there. Then again, sometimes God has other plans. Bigger plans. Not for the purpose of ruing our lives, but for the purpose… of trusting.
I’m so thankful for His goodness: that He so graciously guides us through moments of growth in His perfect timing. Preparing us. Strengthening us. Reminding us once again that it is He who is in us that accomplishes anything. And that nothing is done through our ownĀ strengths.Ā
Has there been a time in your life when God used an experience with your shortcomings to strengthen you or to accomplish His will?
For me it was the refining fire, and I mean FIRE, of depression. When I was all alone and broken at the bottom of the mountain, and nothing makes any sense, I could feel Him wrap His mighty arms around me and say “It’s all right, Daddy is here. I’ve got you. Just rest.” My loved ones were all there, but He was INSIDE.
Oh, Jennifer, I that refining fire can be so hot. “nothing makes sense” is so true..and then,He wraps his mighty arms around. That is such a beautiful picture. Thank you. I am so glad that He came to your rescue. š
It reminds me of Isaiah 43:2. This was the verse I clung to when walking through that fire at one point in my life.
And THIS is why we love you so much, Joanne–you’re so humble! And you’re a gifted storyteller. Keep growing those creative seeds into books, girl! We each have our strengths and weaknesses. God loves to help us in our weakness (mine would be MATH! Okay, and I still avoid it like the plague…).
Love you and I know those kind of weeks. Been waiting for ten months now on my Viking novel that’s on submission–all the responses STILL aren’t in yet. Enough to drive a writer mad. Instead, trying to channel my energy into a completely different book and forget I have one on submission!
Heather,
I love it “Keep growing those creative seeds into books.” I will! And you too! Because God is at work in your writing and publishing journey. Oh, my it’s so tough at times. I waited for a full year. One full year! So I’ve still gotcha beat by a few months ;)Good for you to throw that energy into another book. That’s the best thing to do. Just keep plugging away and you’ll look back to the beginning and realize just how much you grew during that time of waiting.
And my weakness is math too! (Wow, I have a lot) LOL. My hubby has so politely asked that I don’t try and balance the checkbook anymore. I’m totally ok with that!
What a beautiful post! One I personally relate to. It is so true that we want to hide those faults but usually they aren’t hidden, we just think they are; so facing them, praying about them and realizing that it is always ALL about Him and His gory and Him faithfully working in our lives beyond what we know how. Praise God. He loves us and never leaves us or forsakes us….I am so grateful!
Hi my sweet, Nettie. It’s so key: “facing them, praying about them, and realizing that it is always ALL about Him and His glory…” Amen. Sometimes I find that if I think I can do it all on my own, I don’t get too far down the road by the time I slip and fall on the ice and God is always there to pick us up and ask if we’re ready to take the journey TOGETHER.
Sending a hug!
I feel this everyday. God is stronger, I have to remember those words often. Thank you for this beautiful post. I’m so glad you share your words and heart with others. You are making a difference.
Lisa, I do to. I find it often hits me with mothering. I’m so glad that this post was encouraging to you. I was a very hard one to form into words. I hope you have a wonderful day and week and feel the Lord’s comfort with you each step of the way.
Oh, this blessed me, Joanne. Thanks for the reminder that God’s strength shines in our weakness. I’m struggling through a difficult family situation and first draft, and I’m confronted with my weaknesses at every turn. Bless you for your encouragement!
Gwendolyn,
I am so glad! Sending a prayer for your family situation. The difficult ones can be so trying…and faith-building. And three cheers as you continue to work on that draft! It was fun chatting with you, yesterday!
Oh yes. I am normally shy and reserved, but occasionally, if something really makes me passionate, I can leap and bound ahead like a heedless golden retriever, barking joyously when I should be sitting quiet. Thankfully it doesn’t happen too frequently, but still, it’s awfully disconcerting when it does. It reminds me that there are none perfect but One. And that One certainly isn’t me!
“Iām an artist-writer, working on all the rest. So when it comes to the right angles and the straight lines of life, and the page, my mind goes blank. Completely blank.” That made my soul zing with recognition! I have a had hard time explaining anything creative I do. I always have had. You should have witnessed my struggles in Art college, attempting to explain the creative process on every project I turned in, a class requirement. I learned to do it, but it went against the grain. I think that’s because I don’t remember learning how to draw, or write stories. I’ve been doing both since my earliest memories and the learning happened in tiny increments over the past 40 years. Ask me the difference between a simile and a metaphor and I’d have to Google it, but I can use them on any given day, when I’m not thinking too hard about it!
God’s grace is big. Much bigger than our shortcomings and small messes in life. Hugs!
Lori, it was so nice getting to meet you in person this summer at Colorado and getting to know you even better online! You are so calm and collected, but you have a great sense of humor. I love your mix up– a little bit shy but with that enthusiasm and spunk that makes you so fun. š
I can’t tell you how nice it is to hear that I am not alone. You put it perfectly “I can use them on any given day, when I’m not thinking too hard about it.” I feel the exact same way! I can do these things, but I just don’t know the terminology behind it all.
God’s grace IS big. I am so thankful. š
Absolutely LOVE your honesty here, Joanne. We all have weaknesses and certain strengths. Mine may be grammar but I struggle with the creativity thing…which, you know, is kinda important for storytelling! š But like you said, God doesn’t call us because we’re all kinds of fabulous. He wants willing vessels so HE can plant the truth in people’s hearts. The moment it becomes about us is the moment we lose our effectiveness.
Thanks for the reminder, girl. š
Lindsay,
Isn’t it funny how we all have different strengths and weaknesses? It makes life interesting, doesn’t it. š I think of you being a writer/editor and it just amazes how you have that knowledge that I wished I had! And it makes it so nice to get to work with people, whether they are our CP’s or a mentor or an editor where we all bring different things to the table. I know I could never do my books alone. š
Joanne, it’s become so acceptable to hide our imperfections. Natural, indeed, to cover over the ‘bad’ we don’t want others to know about. What you just shared here, is everyone’s reality. But rather than wallow, you used it to shine praise on God and turn the focus to Him. How blessed we are to KNOW our deepest failures, are opportunities to rely on Him completely for His perfect purposes. Bless you for sharing your heart so openly. xx
Dorothy,
There is something so freeing about it. I nearly up and deleted this blog post and did something more Christmas-y, and then I just closed my eyes and hit “publish” I’m glad I did, because it’s been amazing and so encouraging to hear that we are all in this together and are ALL looking to God as the perfecter and finisher of our faith. He is good. š Hugs!
So like a pearl, the way you’ve allowed Him to take what you describe as “stumbling around like a bull in a china shop” and cover it with layers of His grace, turning it into something beautiful for all of us here in the comments to reach out, relate to, cling to.
How’s that for a run-on sentence?
But truly, your humility is such a beautiful gift, one that carries your writing straight into the hearts of your readers, threading them straight to the heart of our King.
You shine, you truly do. š
God has been so good. As soon as I posted this yesterday, I was instantly tested in a HUGE way. I nearly panicked (I assure you, it was panic worthy) but I was once again reminded that He is in control and to just hang on, do what I can do with it all and He is going to see that everything happens as it should.
Thank you for your encouragement. You are such a good friend and I am so thankful to have a wise sounding board for when the going gets tough.
Isn’t that the way of it? As soon as we learn a lesson, there’s suddenly an immediate crossroads to apply it or panic. I think I panic far too often– well done to you for staying the course! And thank YOU for your wonderful, wise friendship!
Yes, Amanda! That opportunity to apply what we’ve learned almost always comes immediately, doesn’t it? I panic far too often too! I’m working on taking a deep breath and trusting quicker. Not an easy thing for me, but something I really want to work on.
And this is why us young gals at Meditations of His Love blog love you Miss Joanne – you’re just like us! š {hugs} Loved that “eating cookie dough out of the mixer” part. š Haha. Yup, been there! *giggles*
Thank you for sharing your heart, that means a lot to me, as a new writer just starting out on my own writing journey (non-fiction). Everythign you’ve mentioned are things the Lord’s taught and has been teaching me in the last few years. I could echo this this week, “He so graciously guides us through moments of growth in His perfect timing.” Exactely! š I love it when He puts the puzzle pieces all together and I get those, “Ah-ha!” moments when I can see how His hand has been playing a part all along. “The empty vessels to show how abundantly He is what fills.” – amen! š
{{Hugs}}
Love in Christ, and many blessings!
~Rachel~
Well hello, Miss Rachel! You are a sight for sore eyes on this evening that’s the end of a sick day. I’m ready to get off this couch! So happy to see you here.
I wish I had the words to say how much this encourages me. I am so thankful for you girls at MoHL, TOO!! You ladies have such a heart for the Lord and for setting a wonderful example of young, Godly, femininity. Delighted to hear about your own writing journey and that you’ve embraced God’s presence and direction…even in those times of growth that can be difficult. He will lead you to green pastures! Hugs back atcha!!
Maybe we should partner up. š I love grammar, spelling, and structure, yet I am a terrible storyteller.
I struggle frequently with feeling like a failure as a mother; so many days end in yelling, or timeouts, or just plain frustration, that it feels like I’m losing the battle more than I am winning it. I can only pray and hope that they see God’s strength in this journey, because some days I am too weary to want to take another step.
Isn’t that funny? I know most writers either sit on one side of the fence or the other. That’s the great thing about working together. I love that my critique partners all have different strengths, it’s a nice compliment. š
I struggle too with feeling like that in motherhood. It can be so hard. Some of the books that have meant the most to me during this time have been “loving the little years.” and “Homeschooling with a meek and quiet spirit.” This second one is my all time favorite. It applies to so many areas beyond homeschooling and just motherhood in general. It is a wonderful book!
With 3 boys so close together, “Loving the Little Years” has had a large impact on how I look at motherhood! I can’t wait to read her newest book. Based on your recommendation, I’ll look into the other one, too.
Thanks for replying to my comment!
So glad to hear there will be another book from that author. I will have to check it out! Thank you!